As humans, we do reflect on life in general. I was thinking about the journey one makes during this life, the journey of self-discovery. I always thought, oh someday I will figure out who I am, find myself as I experience life. I have concluded that it really isnt about "finding" yourself, but REMEMBERING who you are. I believe that in the life before earth, we had personalities, we had thoughts and goals. But when we born to this earth, a "veil" was placed over our minds. The journey I seek is to remember who I am, what my potential is as a daughter of God. I hope that I can before I die remember every single bit of myself as I once was, and then build on me. All I really want out of life is to reach my fullest potential, and be happy. I could never be satisfied with being just mediocre. You don't have to win a nobel peace prize to have accomplishment in life.
Stop looking to find yourself. Start studying to remember yourself.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
Leeroye Buhgee
SO...one of my creative projects I'm sorta working on right now is writing and illustrating a childrens' book.
This is the problem....I just want to get started straight on the drawings, but I'm not letting myself start until I've
got the whole story done. If I don't, then I probably won't ever finish this.
So here it goes.
Leeroye Buhgee;
the cleverest boy in all of kuntree
was often found in a great deal of roguery.
He had a habit he could not shake.
It was that horrible, terrible biting mistake!
A dog here, a cat there,
even Frankee's underwear!
Leeroye would not stop, no not even for his mother.
He gnawed and he gnashed his very own brother!
One day out on a teeth snapping spree,
he spotted an old lady under a tree.
"She looks like a good bite of fun!
Lets see how far I can make her run!"
He approached her with his most charming smile
she not knowing his plans to beguile.
"Hello young sir." she said with a nod
"good afternoon" replied the fraud.
Leeroye bared his teeth with glee,
ready to bite just below the knee.
The old lady suddenly withdrew,
cursing Buhgee "you little fool!"
"Your gnawing and gnashing has got to stop;
I curse your teeth to dislodge with a pop!"
With that exclamation the hag dissapeared,
leaving Leeroye very much afeared.
so, obviously its not finished yet. I want to write this in a way that I can do multiple stories about Leeroye's misadventures as he learns good manners....bitting isnt nice, neither is spitting on your neighbors dog. hmmm idea......
So yeah. this actually all started with a foam cup on my lunch break at work a few weeks ago.
I drew a mushroom....which lead to a mushroom house....
and of course a mushroom house must have strange bug like creatures living in it.
and then....the birth of Mr. Dahdee and Mrs Mawmee Buhgee and their sons Leeroye and Joeee. (who might end up being Frankee)
This is the problem....I just want to get started straight on the drawings, but I'm not letting myself start until I've
got the whole story done. If I don't, then I probably won't ever finish this.
So here it goes.
Leeroye Buhgee;
the cleverest boy in all of kuntree
was often found in a great deal of roguery.
He had a habit he could not shake.
It was that horrible, terrible biting mistake!
A dog here, a cat there,
even Frankee's underwear!
Leeroye would not stop, no not even for his mother.
He gnawed and he gnashed his very own brother!
One day out on a teeth snapping spree,
he spotted an old lady under a tree.
"She looks like a good bite of fun!
Lets see how far I can make her run!"
He approached her with his most charming smile
she not knowing his plans to beguile.
"Hello young sir." she said with a nod
"good afternoon" replied the fraud.
Leeroye bared his teeth with glee,
ready to bite just below the knee.
The old lady suddenly withdrew,
cursing Buhgee "you little fool!"
"Your gnawing and gnashing has got to stop;
I curse your teeth to dislodge with a pop!"
With that exclamation the hag dissapeared,
leaving Leeroye very much afeared.
so, obviously its not finished yet. I want to write this in a way that I can do multiple stories about Leeroye's misadventures as he learns good manners....bitting isnt nice, neither is spitting on your neighbors dog. hmmm idea......
So yeah. this actually all started with a foam cup on my lunch break at work a few weeks ago.
I drew a mushroom....which lead to a mushroom house....
and of course a mushroom house must have strange bug like creatures living in it.
and then....the birth of Mr. Dahdee and Mrs Mawmee Buhgee and their sons Leeroye and Joeee. (who might end up being Frankee)
When Im growed up
When I grow up,
I am going to be the Boss.
I'm pretty sure I'd be a good one. and I wouldn't waste my time or money
on useless people who are pointless to my empire.
I'd fire them, and always on good grounds. but I wouldnt be evil.
CEO, Manager,
THE BOSS,
Kristin.
I am going to be the Boss.
I'm pretty sure I'd be a good one. and I wouldn't waste my time or money
on useless people who are pointless to my empire.
I'd fire them, and always on good grounds. but I wouldnt be evil.
CEO, Manager,
THE BOSS,
Kristin.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Prelude to All Else
HOLY POTATOES!
I am in the prime of life, really.
Possibilities are endless.
I want to do and learn and be everything.
And I think I can do it.
I am invincible, I am amazing, I am capable.
You plan big for the future, and failure isn't deadening.
Things are happening in the world and it is exciting to be a part of it.
I am in the prime of life, really.
Possibilities are endless.
I want to do and learn and be everything.
And I think I can do it.
I am invincible, I am amazing, I am capable.
You plan big for the future, and failure isn't deadening.
Things are happening in the world and it is exciting to be a part of it.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Idiocrasy in B flat
so.
learning experience.
NEVER EVER go to Antelope Island in the evening whilst wearing shorts. Don't even ponder the notion of getting out of your vehicle.
Unless you want your legs swollen and itchy.
I vote Antelope Island to be re-christened Mosquito Island; I have experienced far more mosquitos than antelopes on this 14 mile stretch of rock.
I have 34 irritating red bumps from the knee down alone to prove such a case.
Can I sleep at night? No. are my dreams free from abnormally large blood sucking insects who seek to prey on my body? No. Maybe tonight Insect repellant will be my savior as it should have been my best friend Thursday night.
learning experience.
NEVER EVER go to Antelope Island in the evening whilst wearing shorts. Don't even ponder the notion of getting out of your vehicle.
Unless you want your legs swollen and itchy.
I vote Antelope Island to be re-christened Mosquito Island; I have experienced far more mosquitos than antelopes on this 14 mile stretch of rock.
I have 34 irritating red bumps from the knee down alone to prove such a case.
Can I sleep at night? No. are my dreams free from abnormally large blood sucking insects who seek to prey on my body? No. Maybe tonight Insect repellant will be my savior as it should have been my best friend Thursday night.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Concerto to the Inundated
The last week has been, well, very eventful. I've experienced a lot of heart pain and joys.
I went up to Idaho to take care of my deferment of fall semester (I can't be taking college classes while in the MTC, now can I)
And I realized something, as I drove home that following afternoon.
I can't ever go up there again alone because I cannot drive home without the support
of another human being. I fall apart.
completely.
I never thought leaving Rexburg could be so traumatic. But never in my time in college have I been at the place in life that I am now. I'm getting ready for 18 months in Brazil, many of my close friends will be graduated and or married when I get back from my mission. Some of them, who knows where they'll be. Its not like its new news, but never had it really hit me that this may be the last time that I see some of these good people. It was a sickening realization which sunk deeper in my heart with every mile I drove away from BYUI. There has been very few times when I have felt such despair, to the point of physical pain. My heart hurt.
All I could do is pray that I could breathe again, that I could feel peace.
To be completely honest, I am so scared of going on my mission. of course Im excited for the hard work and for the chance to maybe make a difference in someones' life, but I am really afraid. I'm really good at faking things; like that I am super out going and that I love trying new things. Its the challenge that I am really into. The challenge of overcoming myself. I am not naturally outgoing or friendly. but I always felt repressed by my shyness. I am so grateful for the opportunity to go to Brazil, and have to learn another language to really push me farther than I have ever been pushed.
This weekend I found out that one of my co-workers just passed on. He's had cancer, and been very ill since I had known him. We didnt talk often, but when we did I could always feel of his soul, so good and honest. I cried when I got the phone call, knowing he was leaving behind a family, dying just after the adoption papers were filed. How fragile life is. you see someone one day, and the next they are gone.
My branch just combined with a ward. It will be good to have a chance to meet new people, but its hard going from such a tight knit family to a looser one. I bonded so much with my branch president; he truly has been an inspiration and example of Christ like love and sacrifice.
Onto the happier things;
I made my appointment at the Oquirrh Mountain Temple for October 1 to receive my endowments. To know that I am worthy, clean and pure and ready to receive such a blessing is so humbling and joyful. I will get to have my parents and my older sisters there to experience this with me. I am so excited.
I'm almost done with getting all my paperwork put together for my VISA application!! Though I spent the entirety of the day, and still didnt get things done exactly how I wanted, I was relieved to get so much done and fixed some issues with my Birth Certificate. Not wanting to get carried away in a rant, I'll summarize. When it comes to Vital records, one can only be amended once. Somehow a typo was still made in the process of changing my name spelling from Christin to Kristin....to that of Kristine. Completely different pronoucation. and I was certain Brazil would not be cool about that. I was told that since I'd be amended once, I would have to go to court in front of a judge and declare my proper name. This fee costing a minor $400. I was not going to let my parents or myself pay FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS for a STUPID LITTLE "e". So after a visit with Vital Records, Passports, and phone calls to my father, LDS travel services and The State Department of Health, I came away with only a fee for my new Birth Certifcate with the proper name of Kristin Bernadette Smith. We'll ignore the fact that they still typo'ed on my mom's middle name (non-exsistent, but according to them, K) because all that really matters is MY NAME!! haha
I'm praying Bethany's pregancy will result in a nephew for me.
I love life, so grateful for the family that I have. SO supportive.
My parents think Im so much more wonderful that I think I am, so its something to work for.
anywho....lets try and get the next post less.....I dunno...journally?
I went up to Idaho to take care of my deferment of fall semester (I can't be taking college classes while in the MTC, now can I)
And I realized something, as I drove home that following afternoon.
I can't ever go up there again alone because I cannot drive home without the support
of another human being. I fall apart.
completely.
I never thought leaving Rexburg could be so traumatic. But never in my time in college have I been at the place in life that I am now. I'm getting ready for 18 months in Brazil, many of my close friends will be graduated and or married when I get back from my mission. Some of them, who knows where they'll be. Its not like its new news, but never had it really hit me that this may be the last time that I see some of these good people. It was a sickening realization which sunk deeper in my heart with every mile I drove away from BYUI. There has been very few times when I have felt such despair, to the point of physical pain. My heart hurt.
All I could do is pray that I could breathe again, that I could feel peace.
To be completely honest, I am so scared of going on my mission. of course Im excited for the hard work and for the chance to maybe make a difference in someones' life, but I am really afraid. I'm really good at faking things; like that I am super out going and that I love trying new things. Its the challenge that I am really into. The challenge of overcoming myself. I am not naturally outgoing or friendly. but I always felt repressed by my shyness. I am so grateful for the opportunity to go to Brazil, and have to learn another language to really push me farther than I have ever been pushed.
This weekend I found out that one of my co-workers just passed on. He's had cancer, and been very ill since I had known him. We didnt talk often, but when we did I could always feel of his soul, so good and honest. I cried when I got the phone call, knowing he was leaving behind a family, dying just after the adoption papers were filed. How fragile life is. you see someone one day, and the next they are gone.
My branch just combined with a ward. It will be good to have a chance to meet new people, but its hard going from such a tight knit family to a looser one. I bonded so much with my branch president; he truly has been an inspiration and example of Christ like love and sacrifice.
Onto the happier things;
I made my appointment at the Oquirrh Mountain Temple for October 1 to receive my endowments. To know that I am worthy, clean and pure and ready to receive such a blessing is so humbling and joyful. I will get to have my parents and my older sisters there to experience this with me. I am so excited.
I'm almost done with getting all my paperwork put together for my VISA application!! Though I spent the entirety of the day, and still didnt get things done exactly how I wanted, I was relieved to get so much done and fixed some issues with my Birth Certificate. Not wanting to get carried away in a rant, I'll summarize. When it comes to Vital records, one can only be amended once. Somehow a typo was still made in the process of changing my name spelling from Christin to Kristin....to that of Kristine. Completely different pronoucation. and I was certain Brazil would not be cool about that. I was told that since I'd be amended once, I would have to go to court in front of a judge and declare my proper name. This fee costing a minor $400. I was not going to let my parents or myself pay FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS for a STUPID LITTLE "e". So after a visit with Vital Records, Passports, and phone calls to my father, LDS travel services and The State Department of Health, I came away with only a fee for my new Birth Certifcate with the proper name of Kristin Bernadette Smith. We'll ignore the fact that they still typo'ed on my mom's middle name (non-exsistent, but according to them, K) because all that really matters is MY NAME!! haha
I'm praying Bethany's pregancy will result in a nephew for me.
I love life, so grateful for the family that I have. SO supportive.
My parents think Im so much more wonderful that I think I am, so its something to work for.
anywho....lets try and get the next post less.....I dunno...journally?
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