day 6: pic of something that makes me happy.

ooooh this is difficult. alot of things make me happy, but lately a subject of happiness has been this:

day 5 the siblings

so I've been slacking on this.....lameo I know-no.
In Decsending order:
Leda 24. married to bryce, three adorable fast paced girls. amazing hairdresser, the only one I trust to cut my hair. Good at talking and always being there for you. doesn't say I love you alot, but you know she does else you'd know she didnt. if that makes sense.
Bethany 22, married to Alex due in May with what I hope to be my first nephew. Bethany is our sensitive sister. For every tear I cry, she cries fifty. She is smart and caring, someone you can rely on for friend. Great listener.
Megan 19, just started school at the DATC doing dental assisting. Does things without being asked, very service oriented. She doesn't complain. Our little spit fire, you'd think her natural hair colour would be red with this little temper. The temper flares due to her sensitivity, which she loathes. hard worker fo sho.
Ben 16, lil musical talent here. plays piano and trumpet and this week is trying out drum line in band. does band and pep and jazz? He's the dark, handsome mysterious type. The chicks dig 'em.
Ammon 14 is becoming a little man. there is even hair growing in his armpits. amazing miracle of puberty! He's mr. giggles, he knows how to put on the charm and get everyone laughing and high fiving.
Samuel aka Wella 11, shortest kid ever. I doubt he'll hit more than 5'1. Complete sweetheart. Doesn't care what other people think, gives good hugs. Very artistic, and has a flair for cake making. and eating.
Jacob, 7. He's on crack he's got so much energy. Love him, he's hilarious. Being the youngest he's bound to be spoilt, but being the youngest he gets picked on plenty to void that. He makes you happy.

day 4: the forefathers

MY parents.
These are the people who loved each other and then created me. They are the best parents ever!
I love how we can talk about anything, and how they are always supportive of my antics and everlong
lists of to-do experiences. They are great for good advice, but never try to force anything. I think
that is what has helped me the most to figure out myself-my parents teaching me right from wrong
in a way that I never felt like I was forced to become or be someone else. They love and serve others
and always have and will be an example to me!

dia 3: 1st love

hmmmm.....my first "love". Jeffery Meibos.
Yes, at the very mature age of four, I had a terrible crush on the teenage boy who lived across the street. I liked to call him Jeffy-Weffy because I thought it was terribly clever and hilarious.
That is all I remember, I got teased by my mom and sisters enough.

day 2 The Meaning

The meaning behind This Blog, actually started with a notebook I carried around in high school. My senior year of high school, I took to carrying around an old school composition notebook. It's red. I think I still have it.
anyway....
it was my creative outlook non-homework related personal space, where I'd doodle, write notes to friends but never pass to the intended reciever, random poems, strings of words or to-do lists.
I named my notebook "The Mad Ramblings of a Teen-Aged Nut job". So since this blog is supposed to be, relatively a electronic version of that high school notebook, and since I'm no longer a teenager, I threw in the "Post-teenaged".
so thats the story, hamlet.

To Be: Introduced.

introduction:
I am Kristin. Bernadette. Smith. 21 years of age. Lover of art. Child of loving parents. Sister of seven. Music, art, creation is my goal.
Getting ready to serve an 18 month mission to Cuiaba, Brazil. I enter the MTC December 1st and I am pretty durn nervious.
Lived in Utah from the time I was born until I was 16, and then my dad was restationed at Lakenheath, England. There I met two of my closest friends, Carolyn and Kebra. There I fell in love with Italy and modern Art. moved back to the states july 2007 and began college at BYU-Idaho. There is no place like home.

fifteen interesting facts:
BAM! fact one: I love using "sound" words like, BAM! basically, I am a sound effects kind of person.
check! fact two: I have an obsession with writing lists. When I get overwhelemed, I write down everything I need to do in a check mark format, and will do this over and over again, in attempts to clear my head.
numero tres: speaking of spanish, I love to say things that wouldnt make sense in spanish. like. lavarse con pollo. _wash yourself with chicken_ I think its' hilarious.
fact four: I am hilarious.
five: I have a freckle on the palm of my hand, it just grew there one day. didnt know that was possible.
fact six: I have to have things organized, everything has its personal space and if someone re-arranges it, it reaally pisses me off. Antwon.
fact SEVEN: seven is my favorite number, something about perfection.
fact eight: if you look up my name in the dictionary, it says "Mary Poppins: perfect in every way."
FACT NINE: I have three sisters and four brothers, by birth. I've "adopted" others.
10: I am writing and illustrating a childrens' book. I have good feelings about this.
eleventh of the facts: Photography and design are my visual passions, music my audio.
fact 12: I compose my own music. piano, but Im trying to work my way to guitar and maybe viola. we'll see.
fact 13: I HATE being hot.
fact 14:I used to have a lisp that I outgrew somewhere between the end of 4th grade and 5th grade.
fact 15: most people dont believe me but I am actually really shy. As I child and teenager I hated how my timidness held me back, my fear of whatever kept me from doing things I really wanted to do, really wanted to say. I wanted to be remembered. SO I work really hard to FAKE YOU ALL OUT! :D must be doing a decent job. ;)
picture of recently.

untitled

Day 1-Introduce, recent picture, 15 interesting facts
Day 2-Meaning behind your blog name
Day 3-Your first love
Day 4-Your parents
Day 5-Your siblings
Day 6-A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 7-Favorite movies
Day 8-A place you've traveled to
Day 9-A picture of your friends
Day 10-Something you're afraid of
Day 11-Favorite TV shows
Day 12-What you believe
Day 13-Goals
Day 14-A picture you love
Day 15-Bible verse
Day 16-Dream house
Day 17-Something you're looking forward to
Day 18-Something you regret
Day 19-Something you miss
Day 20-Nicknames
Day 21-Picture of yourself
Day 22-Favorite city
Day 23-Favorite vacation
Day 24-Something you've learned
Day 25-Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs
Day 26-Picture of your family
Day 27-Pets
Day 28-Something that stresses you out
Day 29-3 Wishes
Day 30-a picture

not EMO. just thinking thoughts.

last night there was a storm brewing.
So I put on my warm coat and knit hat.
as I walked, I closed my eyes, spreading my arms to a cross, letting the wind rush and swirl around me, through me, push me.
I imagined I was on top of a very high mountain, or cliff edge.
falling.
the colours of the night rushing; cold, yet comforting. Deep tar infused in Plum, blackberry, wine, laced with a few twinkles of light reflecting off the cloud darkened late sky.
thats how I imagine dying.
but falling, you eventually hit the bottom, and that grace of the fall is swiftly gone when your body is pierced by tree and rock, bludgeoned.
how can death be beautiful?
The lady of Shallot? sleep unto death; drowning?
sometimes when I bathe I half inhale the warm waters;
calm.
would it hurt to drown? just breathe the wetness into my lungs
curious
but
suffication
nothing is more unpeaceful than to be unable to breathe.
panic.
fear.
tension.
I don't think I am afraid to die; for when I die.
it is fragile, but I am still strong.
I think about death, and how to cut the life blood's flow,
but Im not strangling myself.
just thinking thoughts.

self discovery is remembering

As humans, we do reflect on life in general. I was thinking about the journey one makes during this life, the journey of self-discovery. I always thought, oh someday I will figure out who I am, find myself as I experience life. I have concluded that it really isnt about "finding" yourself, but REMEMBERING who you are. I believe that in the life before earth, we had personalities, we had thoughts and goals. But when we born to this earth, a "veil" was placed over our minds. The journey I seek is to remember who I am, what my potential is as a daughter of God. I hope that I can before I die remember every single bit of myself as I once was, and then build on me. All I really want out of life is to reach my fullest potential, and be happy. I could never be satisfied with being just mediocre. You don't have to win a nobel peace prize to have accomplishment in life.
Stop looking to find yourself. Start studying to remember yourself.

Leeroye Buhgee

SO...one of my creative projects I'm sorta working on right now is writing and illustrating a childrens' book.
This is the problem....I just want to get started straight on the drawings, but I'm not letting myself start until I've
got the whole story done. If I don't, then I probably won't ever finish this.
So here it goes.

Leeroye Buhgee;
the cleverest boy in all of kuntree
was often found in a great deal of roguery.

He had a habit he could not shake.
It was that horrible, terrible biting mistake!

A dog here, a cat there,
even Frankee's underwear!

Leeroye would not stop, no not even for his mother.
He gnawed and he gnashed his very own brother!

One day out on a teeth snapping spree,
he spotted an old lady under a tree.

"She looks like a good bite of fun!
Lets see how far I can make her run!"

He approached her with his most charming smile
she not knowing his plans to beguile.

"Hello young sir." she said with a nod
"good afternoon" replied the fraud.

Leeroye bared his teeth with glee,
ready to bite just below the knee.

The old lady suddenly withdrew,
cursing Buhgee "you little fool!"

"Your gnawing and gnashing has got to stop;
I curse your teeth to dislodge with a pop!"

With that exclamation the hag dissapeared,
leaving Leeroye very much afeared.


so, obviously its not finished yet. I want to write this in a way that I can do multiple stories about Leeroye's misadventures as he learns good manners....bitting isnt nice, neither is spitting on your neighbors dog. hmmm idea......
So yeah. this actually all started with a foam cup on my lunch break at work a few weeks ago.
I drew a mushroom....which lead to a mushroom house....
and of course a mushroom house must have strange bug like creatures living in it.
and then....the birth of Mr. Dahdee and Mrs Mawmee Buhgee and their sons Leeroye and Joeee. (who might end up being Frankee)

When Im growed up

When I grow up,
I am going to be the Boss.
I'm pretty sure I'd be a good one. and I wouldn't waste my time or money
on useless people who are pointless to my empire.
I'd fire them, and always on good grounds. but I wouldnt be evil.
CEO, Manager,
THE BOSS,
Kristin.

Prelude to All Else

HOLY POTATOES!
I am in the prime of life, really.
Possibilities are endless.
I want to do and learn and be everything.
And I think I can do it.
I am invincible, I am amazing, I am capable.
You plan big for the future, and failure isn't deadening.
Things are happening in the world and it is exciting to be a part of it.

Idiocrasy in B flat

so.
learning experience.
NEVER EVER go to Antelope Island in the evening whilst wearing shorts. Don't even ponder the notion of getting out of your vehicle.
Unless you want your legs swollen and itchy.
I vote Antelope Island to be re-christened Mosquito Island; I have experienced far more mosquitos than antelopes on this 14 mile stretch of rock.
I have 34 irritating red bumps from the knee down alone to prove such a case.
Can I sleep at night? No. are my dreams free from abnormally large blood sucking insects who seek to prey on my body? No. Maybe tonight Insect repellant will be my savior as it should have been my best friend Thursday night.

Concerto to the Inundated

The last week has been, well, very eventful. I've experienced a lot of heart pain and joys.
I went up to Idaho to take care of my deferment of fall semester (I can't be taking college classes while in the MTC, now can I)
And I realized something, as I drove home that following afternoon.
I can't ever go up there again alone because I cannot drive home without the support
of another human being. I fall apart.
completely.
I never thought leaving Rexburg could be so traumatic. But never in my time in college have I been at the place in life that I am now. I'm getting ready for 18 months in Brazil, many of my close friends will be graduated and or married when I get back from my mission. Some of them, who knows where they'll be. Its not like its new news, but never had it really hit me that this may be the last time that I see some of these good people. It was a sickening realization which sunk deeper in my heart with every mile I drove away from BYUI. There has been very few times when I have felt such despair, to the point of physical pain. My heart hurt.
All I could do is pray that I could breathe again, that I could feel peace.
To be completely honest, I am so scared of going on my mission. of course Im excited for the hard work and for the chance to maybe make a difference in someones' life, but I am really afraid. I'm really good at faking things; like that I am super out going and that I love trying new things. Its the challenge that I am really into. The challenge of overcoming myself. I am not naturally outgoing or friendly. but I always felt repressed by my shyness. I am so grateful for the opportunity to go to Brazil, and have to learn another language to really push me farther than I have ever been pushed.

This weekend I found out that one of my co-workers just passed on. He's had cancer, and been very ill since I had known him. We didnt talk often, but when we did I could always feel of his soul, so good and honest. I cried when I got the phone call, knowing he was leaving behind a family, dying just after the adoption papers were filed. How fragile life is. you see someone one day, and the next they are gone.

My branch just combined with a ward. It will be good to have a chance to meet new people, but its hard going from such a tight knit family to a looser one. I bonded so much with my branch president; he truly has been an inspiration and example of Christ like love and sacrifice.

Onto the happier things;
I made my appointment at the Oquirrh Mountain Temple for October 1 to receive my endowments. To know that I am worthy, clean and pure and ready to receive such a blessing is so humbling and joyful. I will get to have my parents and my older sisters there to experience this with me. I am so excited.

I'm almost done with getting all my paperwork put together for my VISA application!! Though I spent the entirety of the day, and still didnt get things done exactly how I wanted, I was relieved to get so much done and fixed some issues with my Birth Certificate. Not wanting to get carried away in a rant, I'll summarize. When it comes to Vital records, one can only be amended once. Somehow a typo was still made in the process of changing my name spelling from Christin to Kristin....to that of Kristine. Completely different pronoucation. and I was certain Brazil would not be cool about that. I was told that since I'd be amended once, I would have to go to court in front of a judge and declare my proper name. This fee costing a minor $400. I was not going to let my parents or myself pay FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS for a STUPID LITTLE "e". So after a visit with Vital Records, Passports, and phone calls to my father, LDS travel services and The State Department of Health, I came away with only a fee for my new Birth Certifcate with the proper name of Kristin Bernadette Smith. We'll ignore the fact that they still typo'ed on my mom's middle name (non-exsistent, but according to them, K) because all that really matters is MY NAME!! haha

I'm praying Bethany's pregancy will result in a nephew for me.

I love life, so grateful for the family that I have. SO supportive.
My parents think Im so much more wonderful that I think I am, so its something to work for.

anywho....lets try and get the next post less.....I dunno...journally?

Babble; concerto II

FINALLY! I get to work on my mexi-tan.
our family joke is that our missing link in my father's line is straight to Mexico..why else would my daddy be so dark and my grandma's name Juanita?
(that is beside the fact that the MIA baby daddy is in my grandpa's line....)

So I was thinking...
In sunday school we were studying King Hezikiah, and we talked a little about King Josiah. That guy was one of the few righteous Kings we find in the Old Testament, like one of eight. pretty pathetic. Anywho, I thought it was cool how this one verse in Kings says how Josiah was such a righteous leader, that there was none like unto him before or after him. Then I thought of our great Book Of Mormon hero, Captain Moroni. They both were awesome guys. and what i think it all boiled down to, what made them such righteous guys is that they were like D&C 4 says...."serve God with all your heart, might, mind and strength." As Im prepping for the mission field, that is my goal. To have my heart, mind and strength, MY ALL in service of God.
PS. The stay in California is to be lengthened. Possible weekend campout to Redwoods NP or Lassen SHP. Further information will be provided anon.

Babble; movement one

This past friday I drove to Yuba City California. my proudest achievement would be that the GPS said it would take 10 hrs 45 mins, and I did it in nine. And, I totally did not even need that thing until I hit the city.
Ya'll thought I was funny, but you'll be rolling on the floor if you came on the ride with us. It turns out Kebra, Megan and I are even more hilarious after midnight.


casino outside of wendover!

Our favorite stopping point was the lovely town of Loveland, Lockland...what was it? oh yeash....Lovelock.
When a town is advertised for on the highway local listings board for the last 80 miles, you'd expect it would be something, something slightly sprawling. Nope, not in Nevada. Three gas stations to choose from, a nice expensive Chevron (we utilized the toilet there, were I somehow managaged to pee on the floor....story later. the next station was sooo old school. check out these pumps.

So I didnt want to go inside and have to converse with the creepy guy at the counter at two in the morning, and I already missed sideswiping the drunk guy standing in the road (Kebra: Was he laying in the street?!") since the world didn't have the beauty of a credit card swipe in 1950. So, we went to PJ's gas station. we'll just say we didn't stick around for the social and cultural promises this town had to offer.



(megan pointed out the moon here, how awesome is that?!)

We made it to Donner's pass around five in the morning. Here is some pictures of the pre-sun showing sunrise. Great way to start the day in good ole California!

prelude to the babblings

I, Kristin Smith, hereby declare my first utterance.
Anything I find hilarious, clever, meaningful, thought-provoking, or sticks
to the sides of my brain cavity wall, shall be shared in this micro-chiasm of words.
Whatever I think, realize, or wonder about myself or the world will be notated.


And thus begins the mad ramblings of a post-teen nutjob.